Standing in the Middle of a Referral

Last night I attended a very large charity event, it was a lot of fun and I saw my friends and met some new friends. I realized that this was to be the first of many holiday events that I, and others would be attending and every event would be a great opportunity to help my Referral Partners.

With the holidays coming up, and all the parties, family gatherings, company events and dinners that will make up the Holiday Season, it is important to remember that you are always standing in the middle of referrals for your fellow BNI members. Being a good Networker requires that we listen twice as much as we speak, that is exactly why we have 2 ears and only one mouth.

When people are together, relaxed, sharing a meal and conversation, they begin to talk about all the things going on in their lives. Like the best friend who just got engaged, or the last child leaving for college, the parents who are becoming unable to care for themselves.

Every situation is an opportunity for you to help someone. In your BNI chapter your fellow members should be teaching you, either during the meeting or outside the meeting, what to listen for and what questions to ask so that you can qualify a referral and/or make a connection.

Last year a friend was telling me about her sister’s recent engagement. She was very excited about the upcoming nuptials. As she shared her news with me, I began to ask her a few questions and shared in the excitement. My questions were simple ones like, “Where is she getting married? Is this going to be a simple affair or an all out bash? Is this a first marriage for both of them?” and so on. We had a great time talking about the upcoming wedding, our weddings and weddings of friends. In that time I was able to connect four of my referral partners who were able to do business with this couple and they were able to connect this couple to several of their Referral Partners.

It all started because I was able to listen, ask engaging questions, follow up, make the connections and attended the wedding. At no time did I ever flash a business card, pull out my BNI File, or start trying to pass a referral. I simply gathered the information, followed up with my friend and her sister, and asked if they would like the connections. Some they did, some they did not, but the point is, even at this Holiday gathering I was able to make many connections for my network and Referral Partners.

For the next few weeks I challenge each of you, to teach your members what to listen for and three or four questions that they can ask that would help them to make a connections for you.

As always, remember to honor the event, listen, ask questions, and follow up.

Cheers,